Me, Myself & Reshmy
The other day a friend of mine told me that I had a very unique vibe lately and she found herself pulled into my vibe. I sat and thought about what she had told me because I hadn't done anything different in particular and I was wondering what had caused my vibe to change suddenly. And soon I found what it was.
I consider it a big and proud achievement that I am no longer bound by my personas. We all have our own set of personas that we let on when we meet people or to get into a particular mindset. This becomes more evident when you are someone from the creative field. It can be anything from a pen name to a game user ID. Most of them wouldn't think twice before calling them their fake personalities. But I beg to differ. Because as a person with so many personas, I was never fake, I was 100% real in whatever persona I had picked. Whether it be a pseudonym to a stan account, it was a part of the real me. But it became complicated when I felt myself losing into one of the personas and tend to love one more than everything else. It digs up trouble when you fail to accept that all those personas are a part of 'You', a much bigger entity.
Throughout the 25 years of my existence, I have taken up several personas. Each one is entirely different from one or maybe a mere extension of one. Until about a year ago, I was embarrassed that I had so many personas and I was lost between finding the true me. Each persona had a perfect shine to it which I looked for in myself. It took a while for me to realize that the real me was an amalgamation of all those personas including the shining as well as the not-so-shining parts. All glued together with golden gel. The not-so-perfect yet perfect me. Today, I embrace all of myself and I am proud to let my personas down and pick them up as I go. I'm no longer in hiding. I'm out there, living as me, loving all of me.
I'm the crazy fangirl, romantic poet, fanfiction writer, published author, architect, avid reader, cringe love story writer, award-winning architectural journalist, proud organ donor, struggling elder sister, clueless young adult, broke with nothing to my name, vivid daydreamer, struggling to find a job, decent poker player, master of online games, weaver of imaginations, choreographer, terrified woman, clueless heir to a small company in a foreign land, hopeless romantic, an adventurous soul, and most important of all, I'm me, I'm Reshmy.
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